Aunt Maud and my grandmother resting and receiving IV treatments for her dehydration

Well my Grandmother’s back home. I took the above photo Monday of last week. i think subconsciously I  take all these pcitures to make sure i get that last moment. I get anxious nowadays when i get a random call from my mom or dad expecting to here that “news.” but those calls are normal rituals for them to see how I am.

I can scan through photos i took maybe 2004 and see her standing against my mom’s old car.

then with a quiet stroke everything changed for her–a bunch of misdiagnoses didn’t help matters.

She is more or less bed ridden with someone watching her during the days while my parents and her other children help out when they can. She is active mentally and remembers most people who are around her a lot. With me being in another borough, her recognition of me varies at times but i deal with it patiently. I think it’s worse watching someone not be able to move around even if it’s via a cane or wheelchair.

There’s a woman i see a few house down from where i live that reminds me of her except this woman walks outside to get some fresh air and is probably in her 80s like my grams. I say hello whenever i se her and she gives me a smile in response. and i think about how that could of been my grams chiling out on the deck or porch when it got too hot.

My parents know the inevitable is coming someday and I know my mother, my grandmother’s youngest will take it the hardest.